“And God shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4
When my daughter died, I took much comfort in the promise God gives… a place of no more tears and no more pain…her struggles and pain ended, she is at peace. And, I too can have that hope of heaven where I will shed no more tears.
But I am still here, and I still feel such sorrow. I still cry. I ‘m flooded with memories when I look at old photos or sing favorite songs or am somewhere we used to be together. Sometimes I get afraid that my memories will fade, and I will forget her. The pendulum of emotions begins: the emptiness I feel in my gut without her …to the memories of who she was, the love and laughter, the joy that fills my heart. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just torturing myself with this grief. So, I turn to God.
As our Creator, God KNOWS my feelings. He created the emotions; it is a part of being made in His own image. He knows we need His comfort and is waiting with open arms.
“Have no fear, for I am with you; do not be looking about in trouble, for I am your God, I will give you strength, yes, I will be your helper; yes, my true right hand will be your support.” Isaiah 41:10
“Casting all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7
In my Savior’s arms -seeking God’s comfort – I realized He knows grief, not just because He created me, but because He too has had a child die. So, I looked for guidance in my time of grief and came to realize three things: it is OK to cry, it is OK to be happy, and it is good to remember.
It is OK to cry when we grieve. “Jesus wept.” John 11:35 His beloved friend Lazarus had died – and even though Jesus knew the glory of God would be shown, Jesus wept. It is ok, it is a normal human response to cry when we grieve.
It is OK to feel happiness and joy! I can now see that being happy and joyful is not me forgetting or being disloyal to the memory of my beloved daughter.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven…a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Ecclesiastes 3:1,4
In fact, when I’m feeling most sad, I turn my thoughts to the glory she is experiencing; and my sorrow turns to joy.
“Therefore, you now have sorrow, but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.” John 16:22
It is good to remember our loved ones. Knowing the ultimate glory and joy of God’s spiritual promise doesn’t belittle the importance of our earthly families and loved ones. Thousands of years ago, Jesus instituted a memorial. He knew we needed to do something specific to remember Him.
“Do this in remembrance of me…” Luke 22:19, I Cor.11:24
I can find a way to memorialize my daughter, to remember her life; visit the place her ashes were scattered to pause and reflect, share fond memories with family on her birthdate – and thank God for the hope we too have of His glory.
Mindy Dent