Tip # 4 – Be Forgiving – Previously in this series entitled “Biblical Tips for Good Parenting”, we have seen how important it is for parents to be good examples of what it looks like to be a faithful follower of Jesus. This is doubly important when it comes to forgiveness. Jesus makes it clear that in order for our own sins to be forgiven, we must be able to forgive others;
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV)
Parents must be examples of forgiveness. Children need to see their parents forgive them and others, so that they as children can grow to properly understand exactly what forgiveness is and develop a heart that truly desires to implement the blessing of forgiveness.
Secondly, they need to understand the crucial role that repentance plays in forgiveness;
“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” Proverbs 28:13 (ESV)
Once again, the overall goal is to help our children develop a genuine heart for the Lord, to understand that His commands are for our good. This would require the ability to accept God’s definitions of right and wrong and to likewise acknowledge the actual violation of God’s standards. There needs to be a real commitment to turn away from actions and attitudes which God has defined as inappropriate and a simultaneous commitment to implement actions and attitudes which God commands. No one will be perfect in their commitment to obey, and future mistakes (sin) will occur. We need to understand the crucial role of repentance in obtaining forgiveness.
Forgiveness is about restoring relationship. God loves us with a forever kind of love (Jeremiah 31:3), but in spite of God’s continuing love we have broken our relationship with Him through sin. God’s unconditional love for us will never be broken. What has become broken is our relationship with Him because of the presence of unforgiven sin. Forgiveness is what restores our relationship with Him to its full and desirable extent. It is no longer a relationship that is hampered by disharmony and chaos and pain that sin inevitably brings. This is precisely the same kind of relationship that parents should desire to have with their children. Children need to be able to understand that the love that their parents show them will never fail, yet their relationship to their parents will remain marred and incomplete as long as unforgiven sin remains.